I skipped school today, it’s not the first time. No big whoop. Im here, and i feel like there’s nothing that has ever happened and all the times i smile about when i look back were all just a big blur and they werent real. I get the same feeling looking forward, i feel like there is so much to be had for the little i seem to be doing and everyday it’s getting closer and that scares me but at the same time it’s now, right here and i know i should be scared but i cant be when everything seems so…. not alive.
Maybe it’s just a feeling of being alone, even though i know i’m not in anyway shape or form alone. I have my boyfriend. and i have a few friends and i have myself…. but i feel that sometimes it’s not enough. In my Career Welding class yetereday i was sitting with the guys and some one said something about christmas being pointless and i said that i havent had a christmas tree sense i was 7 then my teacher said “the older i get, the more pointless it all seems…” he’s not even 30. Is this all i have to look forward too? come on now…
